Squee.

I hate Spike TV.

I get it, it’s a channel for men. Loud cars, loud explosions… loud women.

Beer.

High fives, and macho yells, headbutts.

Really, I get it.

So I didn’t watch the VGA, the “Video Game Awards,” as it really seems most people who actually participate in these “awards” are fairly inept at video games.

I sound really, really, pompous, but Jack Black winning for “best voice?”

I barely even liked, or could finish the Brutal Legend demo, let alone the actual game. You really think JACK BLACK is a better video game voice actor than MARK HAMILL and ARLEEN SORKIN (Joker and Harle Quinn, respectively)?!

Obviously they didn’t play Arkham Asylum.

That may sound like I’m an Arkham Asylum fanboy… and that would be because I am. It was a fantastic game. With fantastic voice work. Hell, I haven’t even touched Uncharted 2 yet, save the first 20 minutes (shame on me) and I thought Nolan North (Nathan Drake) was amazing.

So, like most award shows, it’s stupid, needless, and poorly done.

I did, however, hear about… and nearly shat myself, on two specific video game announcements… ushering in 2010 as “the greatest year for gaming… EVER!”

First up? Ole’ Starkiller himself:

Are you kidding me? I felt The Force Unleashed was super, super underrated, and this excites me to no ends. Some people (I won’t name names) would go:

“Hey Machombie, boy, you stupid, don’t ya’ll know Starkiller died in the first one?”

To which I respond:

“Shut up.”

Dual Lightsabers? Darth Vader-y, Yoda-y voices talkin’ bout destiny?!

I’m in, sign me up please!

Now, for the next awesomely awesome game, please refrain from squealing too loudly, or firing off your guns into the air until AFTER the trailer is done.

Anyone down for some… Two-Face?

… yes please?

Oh sequels, will you ever fail to excite?

Anyway, as you can see, I didn’t even have to watch the VGA to find out about these, so basically, it makes them useless. But oh hell yes, on both these games, and any exciting announcements down the road (Deadspace 2, I’m looking at you.)

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~ by machombie on 12/16/2009.

One Response to “Squee.”

  1. I agree with you completely. I have nothing against Jack Black, but I don’t feel that he should have won the award. In my opinion, it should have gone to Mark Hamill for his role as the Joker, which he has always done perfectly both in game and the animated series’.

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